If you are the body type that tends to first put on weight in the shoulders and ribs, you are really blessed because you are made to protect and take care of people. However, in the taking care of people, if you forget to take care of yourself then the trouble arises.
I love the example of the oxygen mask in airplanes. They clearly explain how you cannot save anybody, if you don’t save yourself first. And it is quite tempting to be the go-to person for everybody but sooner or later you will run out of juice.
A big part of having bulky shoulders is taking on a load, a load which is too heavy for you to carry, which is why the shoulders need to bulk up. Think about all the burdens and responsibilities you carry? Are they really yours? Do you feel like you always end up doing more than your share? Do you feel if you don’t, then who will? Well, if you think and feel all of this – STOP NOW!
Let go of the need to carry around all this weight. Do only as much as you really want to and not even a little extra.
A great visualization is literally holding out your hands like you are letting go. And then visualize all the burdens you have placed on yourself leaving you through the palms of your hands. Try this in the shower if possible and use the sensation of water flowing out through your hands. If you are unable to visualize, just say the words of release.
50% of change happens when your are aware of your thoughts and feelings and the patterns they surround you with. Once you see through the illusion of the pattern, you will become more and more aware. Aware that all the expectations are actually from your side. You tend to do more than what is expected and that people become accustomed to you doing more than your share or carrying more than your load. Begin by examining your feelings before throwing yourself into the fray. Is is something you really want to do? Will it give you joy doing it? Not the self sacrificing kind of joy. Not the feeling of accomplishment type of joy. But the joy you feel when you do something you love. Be honest with yourself. Even if you choose to do it because of an obligation, it’s fine, just acknowledge your feelings. It will go a long way in toning down those shoulders.
The flip side of the burden is not feeling supported enough. And that’s the upper back and ribcage padding up to support you. Makes you think doesn’t it. So you like taking on stuff, carry it around and then feel unsupported! Here’s when you start to let people in. Choose to put your feet up once in a while and allow people to support you. Don’t wait for a time when you actually need the support. Do this tomorrow if you can. Plan for it, tell everyone around you that it’s your day off. Lie in bed, read, go for a massage, just take some time out for yourself. This is about taking care of yourself first. And the best part is that after this, you will genuinely feel like doing something for other people.
A large chest usually means a large-hearted person. And the capacity for this person to love others is really amazing. This person however needs to work a lot in the self-love department. A lot of fat in the chest means a lot of protection to the heart. A tendency to be hurt easily, a tendency to not believe that people can and do love them. And going back to start, they don’t believe that they are loved because they don’t love themselves. They are so occupied in giving that they forget to receive.
Our hands represent the giving and receiving aspects of us. And stretched out connect to the heart. There is somewhat of a controversy on which is the giving hand and which the receiving hand. Nonetheless, you can’t give without receiving and you cannot receive without giving. It is erroneously believed by us that the giving and receiving should be done to the same person i.e. we try and give back to the person we receive from. It doesn’t matter who receives from you and who gives to you. The only thing that matters is that we receive as much as we give, the universe takes care of the balance at the macro level.
Some amazing affirmations to work with are –
I open my heart to love. Love flows within me, around me, without me.
I am ready to give and receive (love).
I allow myself to be fully supported. All of life supports me.
I feel light. I feel free.
The beautiful Rose Quartz is the crystal to wear. There is something so special about this crystal – I feel like I become a little more attractive when I wear it
The emerald is another stone that works brilliantly.
Do remember that in none of the chapters are we talking about really thin people. The posts are all about being in the body weight we are meant to be in. And sometimes it’s not about the gross weight but what you see when you look in the mirror. As long as you are happy with what you see, you’re fine!
A few things you can do if you feel like it –
Be kind to people. Starting with yourself. Say one kind thing to yourself everyday. And one kind thing to another person – friend, relative or even a complete stranger.
Look with the eyes of love and appreciation. Starting with the mirror and extending to other people. Focus on the good things.
Compliment people, even if you think they are looking fat, even if it’s fake to start with. Sooner or later you will mean it. Oh and don’t forget to tell the mirror how gorgeous you are.